It seems like a good time of the year (or maybe just a good time of the month) to delve into some of my worst all-around pet peeves. Some of these have been said or written before but bear repeating. I know I am mostly preaching to the choir and that none of my dear readers are guilty of or responsible for any of these complaints of mine. Feel free to share yours back. It seem like a good day to have a rant-fest.
1. Tourists take note: on the metro, we stand on the right, walk on the left. If you happen to be standing on the left and I say, “excuse me” (in a very polite voice, of course) don’t mouth off about how “everyone in Washington is always in such a hurry.” Yes, we are in a hurry. Guess what? We have a country to run. So kindly step out of the way and let me pass.
2. The metal clicking noise made by a pump that needs the heel tip replaced is worse for me than hearing nails scratch down a chalkboard. This shoe foul is particularly bad if said click is made when the offender is walking on a marble floor, and worse if that marble floor is in the Capitol where there is a cobbler conveniently located. (As in, there are no excuses for not getting it fixed.)
3. Restaurants that use white linen napkins. Are you really telling me that there is no such thing as a lint-free napkin? And instead of just having black napkins upon request, how about you default to the use black napkins and keep the white ones on hand for the random person wearing white? This practice would make sense especially in cities where the majority of folks dine in their professional attire, which more often than not (in DC anyway) comes in varying shades of black, navy and charcoal. Even a lint-roller couldn’t help me the other day after a run-in with a particularly linty napkin.
4. It hurts my eyes to look at women wearing pants with floating hems. You know what I’m talking about. Their pants have been altered to be worn with flats or a kitten heel, but then they wear them with a higher heel and the edge of the pant leg dangles awkwardly somewhere between the ankle and the ground. It’s the equivalent of men wearing high water pants. I know it sucks, but you have to have certain pants you are committed to wearing only with heels and some you are committed to wearing only with flats, and get the lengths tailored accordingly.
5. I beg of you, wear seasonally (and weather) appropriate footwear. While I do admit that before my physical therapist banned me from wearing flip flops for anything but a walk to the beach, I had been known to push the envelop on how long into the season I could wear them for my (short) walk to the metro. But then investing in a good pair of weather-hearty boots for winter was the best decision I ever made. Similarly, UGGs anytime, but particularly UGGs in the summer (with shorts!) totally gross me out. UGGs in the rain, I just don’t get.
There you have it. I apologize if I offend anyone but luckily it is National Champagne Day, so go out tonight and raise a toast to this sparkling elixir of the gods. Just make sure your napkin doesn’t throw up lint all over your pants, whether they are hemmed to the right length or not.