more things I won’t wear

Fashion blogger Alison gave me a teensy bit of a hard time for won’t wears that describe what 78% of the universe of fashion bloggers would have on their lists. (I suppose we’d diverge when it comes to boyfriend blazers and strapless dresses.) Thus I decided I should push the envelop a little (something else Alison is trying to get me to do more of) and add some won’t wears that are either on trend or prevalent on our fair streets.

1. Colored Jeans. In the spirit of full disclosure, a year and a half ago, after three months of wearing all black in order to camouflage my back brace, I grew obsessed with owning a pair of J. Brand cherry red skinny jeans. Then I bought a pair. I looked like a hooker in them. If I’d been on twitter at the time, any #twitterfashionshow comments would have concurred with my assessment. I quickly got over the trend, apparently just in time for it to explode to include every color under the rainbow.

2. Boho Anything. There can be an understated elegance to bohemian styling when done right, but it’s totally hit or miss and it’s totally not me. I’m not exactly the carefree type and would feel in costume wearing a peasant blouse, floaty cotton skirt, or anything described as hippie chic, an expression I consider an oxymoron. After all, aren’t these the same people who made UGGs commonplace?

3. Maxi Dresses. I want to have the extra six inches of height that I think necessary to carry off a maxi dress, but since I don’t, I’m saving this style for the Alisons, Nancys and Liesls of the world.

4. Peplum. Who needs wider hips or the illusion of wider hips? Not this woman who has birthed two children. I don’t want peplum on a dress. I don’t want it on a jacket. I want the opposite of peplum please. (I guess that’s called shape wear.)

5. Leggings. Alison might put this item in the category of yesterday’s obvious selections, but I see enough people wearing them that I think they deserve a place on my list. I wish I could wear leggings with riding boots and a tunic and feel effortlessly cool. But the one time I tried a pair of leggings, I felt like I was wearing running tights. I have a comfort issue personally, but leggings in general are very tricky. Not everyone can/should wear them, even those of us who work out regularly. If in doubt, don’t.

There we go. Again, very personal and based on my age, personality and body type. For the most part, I’m not judging if any of these items fall on your must haves list.

Well, maybe judging just a little.