summoning charm

If you know me, you might recognize (whether I have told you or not) that I’m going through somewhat of an emotional crisis. If you don’t know me or I haven’t talked to you about it, well, I’m going through somewhat of an emotional crisis. If you know me and I haven’t talked to you about it, don’t ask me to; honestly, I would have brought it up if I wanted to discuss the matter. And I don’t bring it up here as a way to initiate the conversation.

Instead I want to explore what people do to get through those times when faith is tested, strength is fleeting and resolve is necessary in larger doses than one typically possesses.

Times like this, I do my best to visualize a happy outcome. I don’t always succeed. Sometimes this happy visualization, while keeping me focused, can send me into fits of despair over the how and the when of its realization. I’m trying to get better at this technique.

I write. Then I don’t write because words seem inconsequential compared to what’s at stake. Then I write prolifically. Then I don’t. You might have noticed this trend.

I exercise like a you-know-what. I have never missed running more than I do now. If I could just go for one goddamn run, I swear I would be a bastion of self-assurance and stability. But the risk of re-injury is too high so if you need to reach me and I’m not answering my cell, I’m probably at Biker Barre, where I have taken up residency on a spin bike.

I open wine. I don’t sleep. I search the web for eye creams that will reduce puffiness, eliminate the soft purple hue that rings my eyes and mask to the world that I probably have just been crying. I take copious notes at work because I’m scatterbrained. I pack my schedule to the gills, then regret the decision when the time comes to keep those planned activities.

But today my tricks aren’t working. I need to do more to channel my strength and feed my faith in the future.  I need to step away from the emotional ledge. I need to take deeper breaths than my psyche wants to allow.

You may not know the heart of my stress, but you probably have your own ways for summoning the qualities you need in times of mental anguish. I’m looking for suggestions.

And if you can recommend a good eye cream, the delicate skin around my eyes would greatly appreciate it.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “summoning charm”

  1. Olay eye cream–the cheapest, clear stuff, is awesome. Seriously.

    Otherwise, I have nothing, because I am in a crisis boat myself.

  2. And this stuff, under the eyes, over the cheek bones, under any blush you might use, or all on its own.

  3. When I find myself in this place, I seriously only deal with 24 hours at a time. Sometimes it’s 1 hour at a time and then up to 1.5 hours. And I think about one thing at a time and try like hell to channel my work/Mom ADHD. And I remember when I survived the last time, and when I have gone through worse periods (which do exist) and I have come out the other side. And I lean on friends like mad…even new friends 🙂

  4. dear chelsea,
    after a difficult spring I am all advice!

    my favorite eye cream to support crying eyes: all about eyes, clinique

    there’s a technique called tonglen ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/waylon-lewis/pema-chodron-how-to-do-to_b_278213.html ) that I’ve tried in times of trouble. it has helped me, at least as piece of the puzzle.

    reaching out to my community also has helped me, so I think the blog post is positive! amazing to me that how much support I’ve received when I’ve come out and asked.

  5. dear chelsea,
    after a difficult spring I am all advice!

    my favorite eye cream to support crying eyes: all about eyes, clinique

    there’s a technique called tonglen ( http://www.huffingtonpost.com/waylon-lewis/pema-chodron-how-to-do-to_b_278213.html ) that I’ve tried in times of trouble. it has helped me, at least as piece of the puzzle.

    reaching out to my community also has helped me, so I think the blog post is positive! amazing to me that how much support I’ve received when I’ve come out and asked.

  6. It’s temporary- but does help…boils some minty green tea. Drink said tea and place tea bags in fridge or freezer. Place bags over eyes when chilled to your liking. Try to relax for 10 minutes. Makes it a bit better. And I’m here for wine duty.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s