star light, star bright

If the night sky seems to be shining a little brighter, it’s because the universe gained another star. Monday night, my friend Angelika died, the victim of a stroke that was too much for her body to overcome. I’m told it was peaceful and that she was surrounded by her family.

I literally saw her 12 days ago. I still cannot believe that I won’t look into her brilliant blue eyes again. I won’t hear her voice giving me the sage counsel I had come to rely on from her. When I saw an email in her name in my inbox yesterday, I assumed it was a message from her. I never imagined it would be from her husband, breaking the news to me of her untimely passing.

So odd because the last time we were together, she made a comment about looking for a second home abroad, and I joked, “you can’t leave without me.” Her response: “I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you.” The last words she said to me as we parted ways were, “I love you”. How often do you get to look back on someone dear to you who has passed and realize you know fully and completely what you meant to them?

When death grasps someone unexpectedly, it serves as a reminder that our time on this earth is short and it’s important to live each moment as fully as possible. I know for my part, I will stop procrastinating away precious days and will pursue those goals that scare me but which have the opportunity to enrich my life. After all, as frightening as the prospect of failure can be at times, it isn’t scarier than death. I will surround myself with those who make me a better person and not waste energy on negative people, thoughts or activities. I can keep part of Angelika alive in me by embracing her teachings. I can make sure those close to me know how I feel about them. I can live each day with joy.

And now when I wish upon a star, that star will have a name. She may not always be able to grant my wishes, but I know that wherever her energy moved onto, she will continue to shine down upon me.

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