Author: chelseahenderson

Operation Chelsea: Dress Reject #2

Sigh. I didn’t expect it to happen this way. But then again, my predicting the future track record hasn’t been super accurate lately so I should have known better.

The navy lace Zarita dress by DVF was a big bust.

Initially, when I pulled it out of the box, my first reaction was pretty. But my second reaction (and the one that stuck with me) was matronly. I know dresses can look different on the hanger than they do on the body, thus I was willing to give it a shot. But in person the combination of the long sleeves, below-the-knee length (I want to show some skin) and the safe color lend it an older woman aura.

Not to mention, the lace on the bodice near the neckline was snagged from where the garment tag rested during shipping. Bad packing, Neiman Marcus!

So, if you aren’t yet sick of my self-centered posts about dresses, stay tuned for the fashion show I hope to share with you all this weekend.

I promise to show some skin.

 

more things I won’t wear

Fashion blogger Alison gave me a teensy bit of a hard time for won’t wears that describe what 78% of the universe of fashion bloggers would have on their lists. (I suppose we’d diverge when it comes to boyfriend blazers and strapless dresses.) Thus I decided I should push the envelop a little (something else Alison is trying to get me to do more of) and add some won’t wears that are either on trend or prevalent on our fair streets.

1. Colored Jeans. In the spirit of full disclosure, a year and a half ago, after three months of wearing all black in order to camouflage my back brace, I grew obsessed with owning a pair of J. Brand cherry red skinny jeans. Then I bought a pair. I looked like a hooker in them. If I’d been on twitter at the time, any #twitterfashionshow comments would have concurred with my assessment. I quickly got over the trend, apparently just in time for it to explode to include every color under the rainbow.

2. Boho Anything. There can be an understated elegance to bohemian styling when done right, but it’s totally hit or miss and it’s totally not me. I’m not exactly the carefree type and would feel in costume wearing a peasant blouse, floaty cotton skirt, or anything described as hippie chic, an expression I consider an oxymoron. After all, aren’t these the same people who made UGGs commonplace?

3. Maxi Dresses. I want to have the extra six inches of height that I think necessary to carry off a maxi dress, but since I don’t, I’m saving this style for the Alisons, Nancys and Liesls of the world.

4. Peplum. Who needs wider hips or the illusion of wider hips? Not this woman who has birthed two children. I don’t want peplum on a dress. I don’t want it on a jacket. I want the opposite of peplum please. (I guess that’s called shape wear.)

5. Leggings. Alison might put this item in the category of yesterday’s obvious selections, but I see enough people wearing them that I think they deserve a place on my list. I wish I could wear leggings with riding boots and a tunic and feel effortlessly cool. But the one time I tried a pair of leggings, I felt like I was wearing running tights. I have a comfort issue personally, but leggings in general are very tricky. Not everyone can/should wear them, even those of us who work out regularly. If in doubt, don’t.

There we go. Again, very personal and based on my age, personality and body type. For the most part, I’m not judging if any of these items fall on your must haves list.

Well, maybe judging just a little.

Operation Chelsea: Dress Reject #1

On Monday, I ordered a David Meister black fitted dress with interesting ruffled detail down the front and a jeweled neckline that looked so pretty on-line. This wildcard dress, not pinned on my Pinterest board, was going to serve as a backup to the navy lace sheath.

Well, it arrived today and it has been declined. The jeweled neckline is, as our intern Marlene described it, prom-y. Frankly, the jeweled neckline looked cheap and the whole thing was just bad. I didn’t even show the bride before sealing it back into the box to go back to its home at Saks Fifth Avenue.

I promised a twitter fashion show, but I don’t want to dignify the dress by trying it on. However, I am happy share this photo of the offending neckline.

Fingers are crossed that the navy lace works out better (and that it isn’t 85 degrees on the day of the wedding).

five things I won’t wear

I get asked all the time what I will and will not wear. I don’t have a ton of rules, but I do have some fashion nos.

1. Yellow: So few people look good in yellow. In fact, I think maybe 10 people, including Halle Berry and Michelle Williams that one year she wore canary yellow to the Oscars (though it was a love-it-or-hate-it dress). That leaves eight non-celebrities who can carry off this tricky tone. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pastel or the neon hue that’s so omnipresent right now, I think it casts a sickly glow. It probably doesn’t look good on you either.

2. Boyfriend Anything: No boyfriend blazers for me. They are too boxy and too long for my frame. I also stay away from boyfriend jeans. Even if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t wear his jeans, so why would I buy jeans that are meant to mimic his? I’d rather wear yoga pants. And the only thing worse than a boyfriend cardigan is a grandfather cardigan. I like clothes that fit and have feminine detail. Some women (tall, willowy ones) can carry off the boyfriend this or boyfriend that look spectacularly, but it isn’t for me, and I won’t cave to trend.

3. Nude Pantyhose: In the winter, I wear opaque black or gray tights, and occasionally, black silk stockings if they are Wolford. I splurge on one pair a year, and literally that one pair gets me through my winter needs. But otherwise, if I’m wearing an outfit that can’t take a dark tight, I bear leg it. No matter how cold. Let’s be honest: nude pantyhose aren’t really the color of actual skin nor do they provide any warmth value. So why keep up the charade?

4. Messenger Bags: After all, I am not a messenger. The one possible exception is if you consider the Proenza Schouler PS1 to be a messenger bag. But there is neither a reflective patch nor a gore-tex seam in sight on this amazing bag that my fashion fairy can feel free to leave on my doorstep (work though please where someone is here to sign for it).

5. Strapless Dresses: I wore a strapless dress to my cousin’s wedding two summers ago and within 15 minutes, I swore I would never wear that style again. Frankly, most women look uncomfortable in strapless. There’s nothing worse than having to yank your dress up all night except perhaps watching someone else yank her dress up all night. The options with strapless seem to be (1) fall out of your dress; (2) spend all night preventing such a fashion disaster; or (3) bind yourself in so tightly that you can’t breathe.

These don’t wears of mine are very personal and aren’t meant to insult anyone. My advice when it comes to style is that if it feels wrong on you, it probably is. However, if it feels right to wear a boyfriend blazer over a yellow strapless dress with nude pantyhose and carry a messenger bag, I might identify you as needing a fashion intervention.

to cut my hair or not to cut my hair

Coinciding with the angst over what to wear to Kaitlan’s wedding is a healthy internal debate over whether to grow out or cut my hair. It is not an unfamiliar conversation. I’ve been on this cut my hair short, grow it long roller coaster since Snowmaggedon 2010.

In February 2010, after toying with the idea for a year and getting progressively shorter in the process, I finally took the plunge. The very day Mickey, owner/stylist of Michael Anthony Salon and my long-time hair stylist (not to mention longest DC relationship) finally indulged my pixie-request, the second of too-many-to-count snowstorms ravaged DC. While I left his salon loving my cut and felt totally chic out at a bar later that night, I woke up the next morning to two feet of snow on the ground, horrible bedhead, and no power. No power meant, aside from no heat, no ability to style my new hair. By day three of no electricity, I couldn’t walk by a mirror without crying. Once power was restored, it was too late; the storm had robbed me of those critical first few days of playing with the hairdryer and bonding with my new short do.

Once enough snow was cleared for me to make way back to his salon (sadly on the eve of yet another storm) Mickey came to the rescue. He reshaped the cut, which had the effect of providing me a redo of those first few days of practice. I was happy. But then, on my next regularly scheduled visit, he wouldn’t even trim it. I had scarred him with my reaction to the first cut more than I had scarred myself. In fact, it took an entire year for me to convince Mickey that I really did want short hair. I came to his salon armed with pictures of Selma Blair and Michelle Williams. He looked me in the eyes and made sure I was serious. Then we did it. And it was awesome.

With short hair I feel more stylish, even though most models have waist-length locks. With short hair, I feel more sassy, even though my bed head is a fright. With short hair, I feel more sexy, even though I’m constantly told (by women) that guys prefer long hair. But I think I disagree. I love my hair on the shorter side in spite of the drawbacks. And there are downsides. For example, there’s no pulling it back into a ponytail for the gym, the soccer field or post-pool lounging. You have to wash and blow dry it everyday, no exceptions. No loose and messy buns for those of us with short locks. I started to think a few months ago that perhaps, for summer, I should grow it a few inches.

Thus longer hair became my goal, but then I saw a recent picture of myself and I think I want it short again. I’m tempted by this gorgeous hair style (and the sunglasses they highlight). But then again, if I cut my hair short, I can’t dream of carrying off this perfect poolside hat by Helen Kaminski.  Of course, ever since contemplating a dramatic change, I’ve had a number of good hair days in a row. I’m conflicted. I’m also plagued by the age old question: which length is more 40s soccer-mom-ish?

As Mickey knows all too well, I fear soccer mom hair almost as much as I fear mom jeans.

Operation Chelsea: an order is placed

After much deliberation and internal questioning over my guest of a wedding style dilemma, I went with my gut and ordered the top contender: the dark teal (navy in my book) DVF Zarita Lace Dress. I had also intended to order the dress that was runner-up in my head all day, the red Alice + Olivia Esme Ruched Dress, but then some late night activity had me second guessing this as my sure second choice. By way of backup, the Nicole Miller Open Back Jersey Sheath Dress had been running a steady third place (safety school position) if neither of these options work, but now it has easily slipped to fourth place. (See, Alison, I can depart from my comfort zone.)

What dress has jumped ranks to grab my attention? The Black Halo Alexandra Sheath Dress, pinned by two contributors, Elizabeth, a childhood friend I haven’t seen in probably 20 years (but she gets my style nonetheless) and KC, my DC fashion crush for her gorgeous yet effortless chic.

How did I narrow down 79 pins (with a few repeats) to a handful of dresses?

First I eliminated silhouettes that I didn’t think would be totally flattering on me (though I appreciate the aesthetic of the pinners who thought they would work on my frame). And while a number of orange dresses were presented as options, the shade didn’t feel right for the occasion. (And remember, green is my new orange.) I considered for about 45 seconds a totally budget-busting option suggested by Allie of Wardrobe Oxygen, but the financial planning gods mercifully ensured it’s no longer available in my size. (Although their rivals, the fashion gods, did in the process lead me to my future second wedding dress, if I ever go down that road again.)

I thought for a long time about the Xscape Ruffle Collar Stretch Satin Sheath Dress but I was afraid the taffeta combined with the style was too bridesmaid-y. I’d have considered it if I could have also bought these ridiculously out of the question shoes to go with it. Of these Prada pumps the financial planning gods would most certainly not approve.

Operation Chelsea: interesting side note

Yes, I check out how many hits I get on my blog. I still get excited when the number tops 100. This figure might be abysmal to a quote-unquote real blogger but given that I write for fun, don’t have regular columns and routinely let myself be overtaken by writer’s block, busy schedules, and fatigue (in other words, I’m undisciplined) seeing the proof that I have any readers is affirming.

Sometimes, in addition to looking at the hard numbers, I also check out what search terms bring people to my blog. I like to see it when “chelsea chronicles” appears; it’s good to know not all readers happen upon me by accident or through Facebook. Other popular search terms that direct people to my blog’s door are lillybee or  lillybee sizing, kate spade scout (I think I wrote about this purse a lot last summer) and even back brace styling.

As I sat down at the computer this morning to check out any additional dresses or comments that might have been posted to the guest of a wedding style dilemma board on Pinterest, I decided to check out my blog stats. Today’s stats page revealed that of my four readers thus far, three were directed to me by Facebook and one from a search engine. Imagine my surprise when, only one cup of coffee into the day, I scrolled down to see that the search term used was: milf gallery hot baby.

Do we think the googler of this phrase was disappointed in what he/she found? Of these four readers, three read Operation Chelsea: 24 Hours Later and one read Operation Chelsea. Was Mister milf gallery hot baby (yes, I am going to assume it was a dude) sorely disappointed to find a discussion of what to wear to a wedding? How many results pages deep did the guy have to go to find my blog? Out of curiosity, I ran the search myself and five pages in (which is much farther than I ever go in any Google search) my blog still hadn’t appeared. Was the mention of one dress being potentially too milf-y all it took to even register?

For those looking for a dress update, I didn’t place any orders yesterday. A combination of the flurry of late afternoon Pinterest activity, having two extra kids stay the night, and a complete and utter lack of decisiveness waylaid my intentions.

You (and Mr. MGHB) will just have to wait.

Operation Chelsea: 24 hours later

Alison did it. She got the guest of a wedding style dilemma dialog going. It’s amazing how I can feel so close to a community of women who for the most part don’t know each other and in some cases don’t know or barely know me. Regardless of whether they are strangers or dear friends, they understood my style needs immediately, suggesting dresses that I adore as well as making suggestions that push my style envelope a little. They were honest when they didn’t like something, and even Kaitlan (the Bride) weighed in.

Since I am on a deadline, I need to start narrowing choices, and today will be about doing that. My goal is to choose three dresses to ship (not keep) to me. From the comfort of my own room I will play twitter (and Facebook) fashion show. The rejects will be returned (even if I love them all) and a winner will be declared. While I know it would be more traditional to gather some locals with a good eye and have a shopping excursion, my schedule between now and the wedding looks something like this:

Today: kids

Sunday: kids

Monday-Wednesday: Boston (no shopping time)

Thursday: New York (no shopping time though wouldn’t it be great to take a later train back and carve some such time out?)

Friday: Kaitlan’s last day in the office (i.e. work)

Saturday until ten days from Saturday: kids

This 21st Century version of brick and mortar shopping will have to do.

I know you are dying to know the top contenders, so here they are:

1. The Nicole Miller Open Back Jersey Sheath Dress: This dress was pinned to my board in a couple of different colors, including this gorgeous red version. In the spirit of full disclosure, I own this dress in black and wore it to the first #BlackChampagne fake funeral event where I first met Alison and other valued pinners in this community fashion building experiment. It feels a tad anticlimactic since I have this dress and know it works, but it’s also a relief to have an option regardless of what happens with the other selections.

2. Navy lace: After getting the blessing of the bride that a navy lace dress is fine even though I happen to know her bridesmaids are wearing navy, this dress jumped to the top of the contender list.

3. Wildcards: I haven’t narrowed down a wildcard yet, but in a nutshell they range from pink and swingy to totally vavavoom (but hopefully not too MILF-y) to channeling the esteemed Jacqueline Kennedy’s classic style. And I still can’t get this one out of my head.

Contributors, you have until mid-afternoon, when I hope to place an order, to bring new options to my attention.

For the moment, I’m burned out on dresses. It’s time to start contemplating shoes.